You have to start somewhere... right???

As I sit here today I am sick of how I look, sick of how I feel and VERY ready to make a change. I have done EVERY diet in my 35 years of life. You name it I tried it... maybe for a day or a month (yes sometimes for a couple of hours) I am sick of this roller coaster, so after much prayer, searching, and more research than I would like to admit. I am on the road to do gastric sleeve surgery. Before everyone tells me they know someone who is very sick, or has died... or is very sick and dying because of weight loss surgery I KNOW.  I have read I know the risks I also know the risk of being fat (morbid obesity) I see the statistics I have talked to the doctors, I have even watched almost every season of the Biggest Looser/ reality TV shows about weight loss and know that there are risks with both. Here is the deal I believe God has my date in a book and when my time is up well it is up! I am doing this because I want my days here on Earth with my family to be good days. I want to run races (like really run them) I want to be able to play sports with my girls, I want to be able to walk with out sounding like I am going to die, I want to fit in seats at amusement parks and airplanes, I want to fit on my husbands bike I WANT TO SHOP IN NORMAL SIZE STORES AND WEAR SKINNY JEANS (can I get an AMEN) I want to weigh less than my husband, I want to look at food as a tool to fuel my body not something that makes me fat. 

Here is the deal as far back as I can remember I have been overweight... sometimes like 20-30 pounds other times like 100+ pounds. I have always tried to eat healthier. I was told in high school if you are what you eat "Chell is a Chicken Salad". I lived on salad, veggies, lean protein. Here is a picture of me in high school

I was like a size 12 there (at least) here I am on my wedding day

that was a size 20 something dress (which is like a 16 normal sized clothes) and here I am today!!!

            xxl shirt and 18 shorts. AND LECRAE :)

So as of today I have met with a weight loss clinic, I have done all the requirements for my insurance, I am waiting on the Dr's office to hear back from my insurance company... Basically praying for approval!!! I have to do a chest x-ray and meet with the Dr once I am approved, along with a bunch of blood work needs ( I am waiting to hear if insurance approves me before I put out that money. I have been trying to lower carbs and bump up protein as well as NO SODA This one has been hard, normally we don't have soda in the house but our oldest birthday was this weekend so I am tempted because it is in the house. 

I have also made up my mind that everyday I want to do a photo of myself for a time laps photo series my amazing husband is going to help me with this part. I don't know if anyone will ever read this but I am thankful for a place to document my journey.